Au revoir Blog du Bon Vivant January 1, 2011
Posted by jasoncondie in Thoughts, Web.Tags: au revoir, farewell, goodbye, last post
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It’s time. After a year of 132 posts and over 5,200 views, the social experiment is over. Interestingly, notwithstanding my name, the five top search terms to find this blog were “banksy art”, “incest movie” and “fellatio”. Not sure what that says about me or web society in general. The three top posts over the course were:
1) Beyond cartoon fellatio (Olympic Games mascot unveiling)
2) The iPad – Apple finally addresses feminine hygiene? (unveiling of the iPad)
3) VEGANS – Their lies make penguins cry (demotivational posters)
My blog has served its purpose and now it’s time for me to box up my virtual belongings and move on, Littlest Hobo style.
Thanks for reading,
J x
World’s worst… movie turndowns December 30, 2010
Posted by jasoncondie in Movies, World's worst.Tags: actors, actresses, american psycho, Lord of the Rings, Movies, pass, reject, roles, Silence of the Lambs, The Matrix, Titanic, turn down, turndown, world's worst
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Eric Stoltz was originally cast as Marty McFly in Back to the Future as Michael J Fox had other filming commitments. Four weeks into filming, Robert Zemeckis (director) decided Stoltz was miscast. Although he and Spielberg (producer) realised reshooting the film would add $3 million to the $14 million budget, they decided to recast Fox.
An ongoing blog series examining the best “world’s worst” lists on the Interweb. This time, decisions of actors and actresses to pass up prime movie roles.
- Leonardo DiCaprio and Edward Norton turned down the role of Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, the part ultimately going to Christian Bale.
- Sean Connery rejected the role of Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The part went to Ian McKellen who earned $400 million dollars (15% of the film’s profit).
- Nicholas Cage and Will Smith turned down the role of Neo in The Matrix. The part went to Keanu Reeves – surely Cage would have been too old.
- Michelle Pfeiffer, Geena Davis, Meg Ryan, Linda Hamilton and Melanie Griffith all passed on the role of Clarice Starling in Silence of the Lambs. The part went to Jodie Foster.
- Gwyneth Paltrow turned down the role of Rose Dawson in Titanic. The part went to Kate Winslet.
Word of the week – 27/12/10 December 27, 2010
Posted by jasoncondie in Word of the week.Tags: Cajun, definition, extra gift, lagniappe, small gift, Word of the week
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Lagniappe
noun
Pronounced “lan-yap”. Cajun term for “something extra,” a small gift given to a customer by a merchant at the time of a purchase (like the 13th donut in a baker’s dozen). An unexpected nice surprise.
The literal meaning of Christmas December 23, 2010
Posted by jasoncondie in Thoughts.Tags: alternative, christmas, christmas beetle, christmas disease, christmas island, festive, lee christmas, merry christmas, xmas
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Denise Richards' bond-girl character in The World Is Not Enough was named Christmas Jones purely so at the movie's climax Brosnan could utter the cringeworthy double entendre, "I thought Christmas only comes once a year".
As a concept, Christmas is deliberately (and excessively) festive. Probably to justify the weather, bolster year-end profits and prevent the northern hemisphere committing SAD-induced suicide. As a word however, Christmas has numerous dark associations.
Lee Christmas (1863 – 1924) – Crashed a train into another train and lived. Six years later, (perhaps still suffering a concussion and) acting as a Central American mercenary, he defected twice , once after he’d already won. Christmas reportedly (and insanely) chewed glass for fun and so ironically couldn’t be trusted to decorate his namesake tree.
Christmas Disease – A derivative of haemophilia named after unfortunate sufferer Stephen Christmas, displays painful-sounding symptoms such as spontaneous haemorrhaging into the joints or muscles. Stephen must have been on Santa’s “very naughty” list.
Christmas Beetles – Ravenous bugs which destroy vast eucalyptus groves during Australian summertime (Aussie Xmas). Wannabe koala-killers.
Christmas Island – A contender for the most ‘ill-fated isle’ competition, Christmas Island has experienced drought, non-evacuated nuclear testing and extinction of indigenous species. Only last week, 48 asylum-seekers drowned when their Australia-bound boat shipwrecked off Christmas Island. Ho ho ho.
Merry Christmas one and all!
Word of the week – 20/12/10 December 20, 2010
Posted by jasoncondie in Word of the week.Tags: crepuscular, dim, twilight, Word of the week
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Crepuscular
adj.
- Of or like twilight; dim.
- Zoology Becoming active at twilight or before sunrise, as do bats and certain insects and birds.
Groupon gone crazy December 17, 2010
Posted by jasoncondie in Thoughts, Web.Tags: beauty treatments, coupon, Groupon, online, restaurant, retail hacking, vouchers, Web, wedding, wedding voucher, Wired
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Another day, another Groupon.
Operating across 100 cities stateside and almost 40 in the UK, Groupon encourages us to buy vouchers for local products and services that we didn’t know we wanted. Once subscribed, a daily email offers restaurants, beauty treatments, days-out etc. at discounts in excess of 60%. For the deal to go live, a certain number of bargain junkies must agree to purchase. Such competitive purchasing and referral incentives have helped the two-year-old Internet start-up forecast revenue of $500m this year. An interesting, yet slightly tangential, piece in December’s Wired christened this revolution of consumerism as “retail hacking” (ever since the hacktivists of Wikileaks, “hackers” appear to have replaced “cyber terrorists” in the media’s vernacular).
Admittedly my Groupon restaurant experiences to date have been similarly discounted at 60%: questionable quality of service, menu restrictions and unavailability of reservations. In other words, waiting over an hour for 6 non-seafood tapas on a Wednesday evening. Plus there’s the embarrassment of presenting the coupon – definitely not advisable for first dates. But regardless, I keep buying them. Perhaps it’s the novelty of sampling unknown cuisines or visiting establishments ordinarily too expensive. But even Groupon can go too far in terms of trying something new… check out the screendump below or click here.
Imagine presenting the coupon at the altar in front of (a maximum) 50 guests
Word of the week – 13/12/10 December 13, 2010
Posted by jasoncondie in Word of the week.Tags: crater, meteor, meteorite, regmaglypt, Word of the week
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Regmaglypt
noun
The small crater-like indentations found on the surface of a meteorite.
Coffins to die for December 9, 2010
Posted by jasoncondie in Art, Photography, Thoughts, Travel.Tags: bbc, beer bottle, bright colours, carving, cigerette, Coca-cola, coffins, death, fish, funeral, Ga, Ga tribe, Ghana, Mercedes, planes, sneaker, tribe
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A BBC In Pictures article got me thinking about death again. Or rather, the celebration and remembrance of life. Preserving my karaoke efforts in vinyl was my last will and testament until I read about the the Ga tribe of coastal Ghana. The Ga people carve intricate, brightly coloured, cartoony coffins, representing and celebrating the lifestyles of the deceased. Career caskets such as fish for fisherman or planes for pilots. Or sinful sarcophagi reflective of failings: Coca-cola, cigarette, beer bottles etc. Even fanciful symbolism like Mercedes cars or sneakers. Truly amazing craftmanship – now if only I could ‘whittle down’ my vices….
Which vice to choose... fags, beer or fish?
Word of the week – 6/12/10 December 6, 2010
Posted by jasoncondie in Word of the week.Tags: Ferruginous quartz, green, red, sinople, Word of the week
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Sinople
noun
- Ferruginous quartz, of a blood-red or brownish red color, sometimes with a tinge of yellow.
- The tincture vert; green.
Movie Review – Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale – 9/10 December 2, 2010
Posted by jasoncondie in Movies, Thoughts.Tags: black comedy, dark, European, film, Finland, Finnish, movie review, Movies, Newsweek Global Survey, rare exports, Rare Exports Inc, Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale; Christmas, Santa Claus, xmas, Youtube
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Who knew the Finns had a sense of humour? Finland, the oft-forgotten scrotum of Scandinavia’s phallus (take another look at a map of Sweden and Finland), ranks first for health, economic dynamism, education, political environment and quality of life according to a 2010 Newsweek global survey. To consistently excel in serious international dynamics, surely the sauna-monkeys would have to sacrifice trivialities such as filmmaking and comedy? Thus rendering the movie Rare Exports a rare export indeed.
‘Tis the week before Christmas and below a Finnish mountain something considerably larger than a mouse is stirring. Adventurous, irritatingly disobedient and reminiscent of Bjork, the young lead Pietari uncovers the sordid truth about Santa Claus. A welcome antidote to Coca Cola’s cheery, cheesy and charitable character, legend warns of a demonic foe rather than a jolly fat guy. Excavations by profiteering scientists trigger an avalanche of carnage, a horde of old-man full-frontal nudity proving more horrific than the subsequent deaths. I dare you not to shiver (or dry-heave) next time you see a shopping-centre Santa.
Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale prequels award-winning and cult Youtube shorts made by Jalmari Helander in 2003 and 2005, which documented the hunting and domestication of Santas for global export. The film faithfully follows the formula of other subtitled European success stories Let the Right One In and Rec – unflinching horror tinged with black comedy (in particular, offering some cynical commentary on Finland and Russia’s cultural beleaguerment). Like traditional Tim Burton, before he directed only sell-out projects tailorable to his wife and boyfriend.
In summation then: credible acting, solid special effects and a refreshing respite to the customary Christmas fare. Maybe not one for the kids though….
Still want to sit on his knee?
